Friday's rants, Rambles and Raves: Lesson # 7: Re-Train the Brain

Insane in the membrane, 

INSANE IN THE BRAIN, 

Insane in the membrane, 

GOING INSANE GOT NO BRAIN!

                            

                           - Cypress Hill 

This is what the journey is doing to me when I struggle during this journey. 

I have spent a majority of my life being told and or believing I am not worth anything. I have let others control me and tell me what to do and how to do it then tell me I have not done it right. I have let others beat me down and break my spirit even after I had built myself up and regained some of my confidence. I have told myself that I have moved on in my life and that the evil spewed no longer controls me but deep down it seems that the words still linger and when I start to see success then hit a slight hiccup the questioning of my own self worth has come out. 

We need to re-train our brain and its not easy. I continue to question every self doubt and fear I have; sometimes the fear and doubt is just a whisper in my head and other times it is a voice screaming loud and clear that I am a failure. 

To combat these thoughts and doubts I will begin to do a personal journal through out my day; before I work out, after my work out, after meals and  when I have my doubts. I will log what my internal dialogue is saying and question whether what is being said internally is valid or not. I know I have mentioned this before but I believe writing down what is said, and working through the process on paper will be more effective. the reason I believe it will be more effective is like writing down a note to yourself, if you tell yourself to phone Jim at 2pm and not write it down you will forget, however when you write down on a post it to phone Jim at 2pm  you will remember even if you don't look at the note again.

In this journal I will:

1 - Log my feelings prior to going to the gym

2 - Log my feelings after going to the gym

3 - Record my internal monologue after eating

4 - Record any self doubting moments and deduct what is truth and what is not behind those statements.

By doing this I will have something tangible and be able to see and review the dialogue, then be able to disprove, then when the same type of negativity comes up I can review it and disprove it. 

By re-training my brain I will set my self up for success long term and be better able to handle my potholes and speed bumps on this journey.  So many little adjustments can make such a big impact, it is just figuring out how to fine tune it all and where the adjustments need to be made.

Hard work and dedication is what it takes and I have to give my all to this and not do it part way.