The closer I get to the day i want to join the gym the more nervous I am getting. I have anxiety about failing and joining then giving up on myself. I want this so bad yet I am afraid of failure, which has propelled me to this place in my life in the first place. I think that is why I have tailed off a bit with my steps and stairs late in the week. I have great intentions but somehow I tail off...
I read blogs, vlogs and look at Instagram feeds and see all these amazing people who are out doing the work and I keep wishing I could be like them getting their burn every day. I know in my heart though that they were or are like me too! We all have dreams of the place where we want our health to be and everyone who is looking to lose a significant amount of weight face the self doubts of failure. Failure is just a chance to learn before succeeding, I know this but, something inside me still makes me afraid. I need to do this for me and face it, and as this is the " Year of the Mac" (what I am calling it anyways, I need to just deal with it and keep moving forward. Easier said than done some days!
Once I get over this hump with doubt and just get it done it will be easier, I know this. It is facing the unknown which we all have some fear in, but the funny thing is, when it comes to certain areas of my life I find myself fearless. Usually these situations are doing something for someone else, be it cooking or something that someone just needs done, I can't explain it very well on here and am trying to rack my brain with examples... and none pop to mind, of course. I just feel that when my own life or lifestyle is not the priority I will climb the highest ladder or be the first to jump from the tower to make others feel at easy, but if it was my favorite ball on the roof,.. I would not climb that ladder, heck its just a ball i will buy another one, but if it was a friend's or my wife's, I would be the first one up there to get it.
I have been receiving tons of support on my social feeds, surprising ones too! To my surprise I had one of the current contestants on NBC's The Biggest Loser, randomly decide to follow me on Instagram! I was so surprised and shocked and elated and of course I had to follow him back! This is one of my favorite shows that I have been watching religiously for about 8 or 9 years now and here I find Stephen Khmet following me on Instagram! I am just gobsmacked that whatever i posted on IG caught his eye; this helps give me motivation knowing that someone I have seen struggle with their weight loss and whom is working off the weight. Knowing they work with Bob Harper, Dolvett Quince and Jen Widerstom and he choose to find and follow me, wow, I guess i am just being a fan boy excited to know that my blog and or social media postings are getting out further than I truly thought they would! I couldn't ask for anything more awesome than that as that is my purpose with this blog and posting of my struggles, to reach others.
So many of us struggle with so many things in life that for me to write about my struggles and use it as an outlet for figuring myself out and finding that path I need to take then have someone/anyone read it, relate and find strength in it that is what I want. We all have different stories yet they are all similar and can inspire us in different ways. While I am working and trying to focus on doing this for me, I want my story to inspire you. Hell because if I can do this and hopefully one day achieve my goals then I am sure as shit positive you can!
My goals are not just about being healthy and living healthy afterwards, I want my story of struggles and triumphs to inspire others. I want to be able to help and reach others who doubt themselves and their journeys. I don't know where my path is taking me but I have considered that when I lose this weight maybe I would look at taking a training course and use my experience to help others. There is something to be said about a trainer who has physically gone from fat to fit. I don't mean someone who lost 20 or 50 pounds, but someone whom has lost over half their body weight and gone to accomplish so much more. Do not get me wrong, the Dolvets, Bobs, and Jens of the world whom may have lost some weight / toned up and has become certified trainers that is fantastic! But I know from my experience that if we obese can not be trained by the one and only Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper or Dolvett Quince or Jen Widerstrom then.. our thoughts as obese people are that these trainers don't understand me and where I am coming from. However if I have been in those proverbial shoes and came out of it, especially at this point in my life where I should be thinking of my retirement plan and freedom 55 type thinking yet have overcame such a ginormous obstacle as I am facing then why not use this experience to help someone in just as much need as I am now? This is all hypothetical too, I miss working in professional kitchens though I don't really miss the crazy hours, but regardless I am sure that as I lose weight and my confidence within myself grows that the opportunities possibilities will just open up and my thoughts and dreams will expand.
Back to reality though, I cant stop in the land of "what if " or "when" I need to focus on the here and now. I need to get motivated and keep pushing for results. i need to put one foot in front of the other and just get the job done. There is lots of time later to look at the big picture, right now I need to focus on me and doing right by me.
Guest bloggers - I ask questions about what people are doing to help promote a healthier living or how they find the change and adjustment of living a healthier lifestyle
Recipe Blog - I post some pics of a healthy recipe I invented with the recipe and it's nutritional values
Blogger reviews - I post some info of bloggers and vloggers I follow who provide great motivation, information on many different subjects but mainly health and wellness.(of course my wife's blog will be mentioned regularly!)
And of course I will be providing goal updates as they happen and photos of each achievement along way.
What would you like to see or hear more of on this blog? Let me know!
Don't forget to check out my Vlog page too!
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