A Year From the Day.. April 5th 2016

This past 365 days have been quite the journey.

One year ago today I was hit from behind and since then I had struggled with physical health issues; I have been through Post Concussion Syndrome (PCS) I have lost momentum in progress only to slowly get it back again. I have had almost as many set backs as I have steps forward and have found myself almost right where I have started. 

It has been a year of internal reflection and growth to say the least, and I knew that there would be setbacks and I have tried to use it wisely. I have worked at trying to fix my internal dialogue in regards to how I see my choices and why I make them. 

I have really focused on my eating choices trying to choose better, cook and eat cleaner and just make healthier more of a daily occurrence in my diet plan.

I have worked on being more clear and decisive on my words and actions. I have tried to make the gym apart of my life again when I was finally allowed to go back after the accident. I have tried to be very intune with what my body can handle and tried to improve my strength and cardio.

All these steps have come with some steps back too as not everything comes out roses and rainbows. Flu bug, set backs in health recovery, moving my in-laws and mother (they swapped living places). some PCS symptoms returning, and general life getting in the way. 

I have gone in several weeks of trying to build a habit only to fall off the wagon afterwards. (and FYI it takes more than 3 weeks to build a habit in my opinion!!)  

And with all this up to this point in time, being exactly a year from the day I now find myself not only in the same spot I was but with more added baggage to myself. Anxiety, stress, headaches, sleep issues, mild dizziness and in one instance blacking out almost to the point of passing out (this happened on a day where we were moving mom and the in-laws and  ended up having skipped eating dinner and it was about 8 hours since my last meal - i am currently being very mindful to see if this happens again and I will seek immediate medical help).  

I learned this last year that I can live my life in a healthier way and not feel like I am missing anything. I have learned that I don't need food to comfort my emotions when feeling down but I still struggle with it. I learned that I do have secret meals which I am working on stopping when i catch myself doing it. I am learning to trust in believing in myself again. I have learned that I have strength in my legs that is incredible (- have I mentioned my 700 pound leg press yet?). I have learned that no matter what life has thrown at me I still get up and face the day and can conquer it when i apply myself.

I have learned that:

I am

I can

I will

All of these "I"s are apart of believing in the change that is growing inside me.