By the Numbers

So here we are in March, and I know I said that I would weigh myself officially this month to see my progress but...

The closer I get to the middle of the month the more standoffish I have become towards my weight. I don't want a number to define me nor will it, I have unofficially weighed myself and the numbers are definitely less than where I once was, am I where I want to be right now,? NO, am I proud of my accomplishment so far?, HECK YEAH!

I still struggle with consistency and building a routine to get back into the daily life that I want and am working on. I, much like a lot of others, have struggled with consistency in going to the gym and it is one of my main focuses. Yes, I put myself through the 21 day challenge to go to the gym, after 10 days  straight I took a day off then started a routine of one day off a week. I did this for about 5 weeks, then life got in the way. I would feel sick one day and skip a day, or I would just be up too late the night before and skip the next morning workout, then I would tweak a muscle in my lower back and skip a few more days. 

These are not excuses, I should find the time no matter what if I believe myself to be worth the effort, and I usually do believe in myself to be worth it. Sure I have down days like everyone else, and I know those days are the days I need to go the most. I have felt guilty every time I did not go to the gym when I knew I should of, I also feel guilty not being apart of a normal life, after all who the hell wants to get up at 3am to go to the gym?

I am working to find that work/life healthy balance, and at times I feel like I sacrifice the part of going to the gym to do something else. I want to be able to stay awake long enough to curl up with my wife and see a movie at 8pm and not be falling asleep. I want to be awake and conscious when my wife and I decide to go out and see a comedy show at the pub and not feel like I am struggling to stay awake until 9pm when the main act comes on.

At the same time I love the fact that I can Leg Press 700 lbs, that I can do nearly 200 lbs in Pectoral Flys or 200 lbs in Seated and Low Rows. I love pushing myself to see where I am at and what more I can do, it can be quite addicting when you realize what your body is truly capable of when you push yourself. I also love the feeling and love noticing changes in my body; feeling and seeing my shoulders and arms get bigger is quite the narcissistic thing to do but I'm not doing it in a negative way but more of a recognizing an accomplishment. I am achieving.