This past month or so I have had a few people tell me I inspire them; it is very humbling to be told this. While I appreciate the compliment that I inspire people (and I am very glad that I do that for others), I can't help but feel that I am not in a place mentally to be ready for that inspiration for others.
I am not trying to change people's minds or anything, it is just that I don't see being an inspiration in myself enough right now. I know I have lost some weight but could I have lost more, yes; do I still struggle with food and nutrition, yes; do I still struggle with the will to exercise daily, yes (although this struggle is weakening).
My belief in myself and in this journey, for me, is just starting to grow, and while my efforts in a cleaner and healthier living has been getting stronger, I falter with some indiscretions: I still find myself snacking on the wrong things at times, I take it easy on my workouts at times (I know I don't always give it my full effort), I still struggle with trying to understand and conform to the food macros I need to be at ( I need to cut back on my carbs).
I know life is full of struggles and I am sure I represent the average problems and struggles of and overweight person, so in that respect I am happy that I am connecting with people and they can associate my struggles with theirs. That is the purpose of this blog for others to realize they are not alone in the struggle, it is just weird though to have someone say that my efforts inspire them.
We all have to start somewhere, we all have a struggle we deal with, we all have a weakness we try to improve; this is how we grow as an individual, by working on what limits us. I am no different as I am on this journey for change and growth as I want to be much more than I feel I am. I need to change my mental state and am working on the self belief.
I am very glad and honoured to be an inspiration to others, I am just trying to be an inspiration to myself most days. It is an innate feeling and action to expect more from myself and I am learning to find that balance of expectation and reality but it is hard right now for me to give myself praise of effort when I have so much farther to go and do not have the results I am looking for.
I know I must stay positive and focus on my successes as the rest will come in time.
I am proud at my streak of food logging for nearly 60 some days straight.
I am proud of my actions of going to the gym for at least 5 days a week for nearly 60 some days.
I am proud to see my results in strength building when lifting weights (leg press of nearly 700 lbs is mind blowing to me!)
I am proud of myself for continuing to commit to changing my health for the better.
I have said time and time again that the biggest enemy in this fight for my health and life is my mental status. My self doubt and self defeatist negativity will fight me every step of the way, it is natural for overweight people to fear failure the closer we get to success so we self sabotage. We set our selves up for failure before we have an opportunity to experience success because we have accepted failure for so long already in our lives. We fear the disappointment from others, we fear the feelings of letting ourselves down and others, and when we fear, or at least when I do, I eat to suppress my fear.
The "Year of Scott Mac 2107" is all about me facing my fears head on, to open up and discuss the fears, to let others who have similar struggles know they are not alone. By discussing these fears and writing them down I hope to understand and analyze them to then be able to change my view of these fears. When you recognize and identify the problem it is easier to resolve the problem because it is defined, the problem has parameters and a clear definition which can then be resolved.
As discussed before, I try to analyze each fear and thought as if it is a personal truth or if it is not; when it is not I debunk the thought with facts and destroy the thought so that it has no justification to permeate my thinking and reasoning, thus crushing the self doubt it creates.
Let's do this thought process together now...
Thought: "I am not an inspiration to anyone nor should I be"
Support of or denial of truth: Denial
Reasoning: I have accomplished a lot of things that other overweight people have been unable to do.I have been an active member of a gym for nearly a year (would be over a year if not for a car accident). I have made healthier eating and purposeful exercise apart of my daily life. I have consistently pushed myself to be better in thoughts and actions.
Result: I am an inspiration to others who see my efforts to change who I once was to whom I am trying to be someday. While I do struggle I still achieve results and others who struggle can see that if I can struggle and push through and still achieve then I am a reason for inspiring others who also struggle.
We all have to start somewhere, we all have a struggle we deal with, we all have a weakness we try to improve; this is how we grow as an individual, by working on what limits us. I am no different as I am on this journey for change and growth as I want to be much more than I feel I am. I need to change my mental state and am working on the self belief.
I am very glad and honoured to be an inspiration to others, I am just trying to be an inspiration to myself most days. It is an innate feeling and action to expect more from myself and I am learning to find that balance of expectation and reality but it is hard right now for me to give myself praise of effort when I have so much farther to go and do not have the results I am looking for.
I know I must stay positive and focus on my successes as the rest will come in time.
I am proud at my streak of food logging for nearly 60 some days straight.
I am proud of my actions of going to the gym for at least 5 days a week for nearly 60 some days.
I am proud to see my results in strength building when lifting weights (leg press of nearly 700 lbs is mind blowing to me!)
I am proud of myself for continuing to commit to changing my health for the better.
I have said time and time again that the biggest enemy in this fight for my health and life is my mental status. My self doubt and self defeatist negativity will fight me every step of the way, it is natural for overweight people to fear failure the closer we get to success so we self sabotage. We set our selves up for failure before we have an opportunity to experience success because we have accepted failure for so long already in our lives. We fear the disappointment from others, we fear the feelings of letting ourselves down and others, and when we fear, or at least when I do, I eat to suppress my fear.
The "Year of Scott Mac 2107" is all about me facing my fears head on, to open up and discuss the fears, to let others who have similar struggles know they are not alone. By discussing these fears and writing them down I hope to understand and analyze them to then be able to change my view of these fears. When you recognize and identify the problem it is easier to resolve the problem because it is defined, the problem has parameters and a clear definition which can then be resolved.
As discussed before, I try to analyze each fear and thought as if it is a personal truth or if it is not; when it is not I debunk the thought with facts and destroy the thought so that it has no justification to permeate my thinking and reasoning, thus crushing the self doubt it creates.
Let's do this thought process together now...
Thought: "I am not an inspiration to anyone nor should I be"
Support of or denial of truth: Denial
Reasoning: I have accomplished a lot of things that other overweight people have been unable to do.I have been an active member of a gym for nearly a year (would be over a year if not for a car accident). I have made healthier eating and purposeful exercise apart of my daily life. I have consistently pushed myself to be better in thoughts and actions.
Result: I am an inspiration to others who see my efforts to change who I once was to whom I am trying to be someday. While I do struggle I still achieve results and others who struggle can see that if I can struggle and push through and still achieve then I am a reason for inspiring others who also struggle.
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