What did they just say?

I was busy doing my own thing when I over hear a conversation on the phone.

Now I know I should not listen in on otther people conversations but when in a small area with few people it is hard not to. This conversation without going into detail blatantly insulted someone who was also in the vicinity, and who I am sure must have heard it (I was 10 feet farther away and I heard it!), by commenting on their weight and demeanor. This person I find to be a positive person and with bounds of energy and who to my understanding is quite gentle. 

The ignorance of people to still judge people based on looks and to comment on them with little discretion when they are in the same room is unbelieveable to me. I do not care what generation they are of, or what race, religion, sexual orientation, or nationality as none of it matters WE ARE ALL OF THE HUMAN RACE, (Though I do question to myself if people with such poor moral choices are still considered apart of it).

Words hurt, even if the words were not directed to me they still pissed me off. How dare someone judge people like that then spread that word to others.

Ignorance is not bliss.

Is it too much to ask of people and society to respect people as people?

Does it matter how big or small people are? 

I can't speak for everyone who deals with weight issues but I can say from experience we are tired of society being the judge of what we should look like, how we should act and how we should live. 

Counting Down the days to "Normalcy"

On December 2nd I have what I hopefully can say is my last Physio appointment.

I am back to 8 hour work days with little or no issues at this point in time and the road to recovery is looking good but only time will tell which is partially why there is a 2 week break in between physio appointments. My therapist has worked hard at helping me progress through my health issues from the accident. I am so thankfull for her efforts to help me where I was to where I am. Every week we go through a symptom questionaire and she totals my points and each one is rated from 0 to 6. my first visit I was at 67. I had so many issues and frustrations, my emotional health was very poor and I was quite despondent because of the lack of progress in my health getting better. This last week I was at 11 total. A big difference 8 weeks makes!

Sure I still have a sore neck and the occasional headache right now but the intensity and acuteness of it has dissapated. My anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration, not feeling right, depression, confusion, memory loss, and so much more that I suffered from when I first saw Jessica has all but gone, I still have anxiety about driving but I feel that 98% of the time the other emotional symptoms are not there. I remember my first day at Physio how I broke down because of all the emotions I was dealing with and feeling helpless that I was not getting consistent care from the doctors. Jessica assured me she would see me through it and help me get better., and she stayed true to her word.

Now I find myself waiting and coutning down the days to my re-testing and appraisal of my health in regards to my accident. I yearn to get back to the gym, to go back to a normal life and do the normal things I used to do . It is as if I see the end of the tunnel and am almost at the finish line, I can taste the victoy i am just not there yet though. I know I have to ease myself back into the gym going slow at what I was doing before as my body regains the strength and endurance I once put it through. The loss of control of my own life and exsistence due to being rear ended has been difficult mentally and emotionally and I am ready to be done with it. 

I had a health goal for this year and I know I won't hit it but that just gives me determination to not let the chances I am given in life to slip by me. I am lucky that my accident was not worse, I can just imagine what state I could have been in if the lady was doing 100km/h when she hit me. Would I even be alive at the speed of that possible impact? The thought of that just makes me feel blessed that I have an opprotunity to have the year of Scotty Mac 2.0 this coming year. It gives me renewed enthusiasm to move forward with my weightloss goals and attitude towards my health. I am working at setting new exciting goals for this coming year that I want to achieve now that I have had a chance to see my own potential. I have an aggresive goal for weight I want to hit, more so than this year, I have some gym goals I want to hit in regards to weights I lift/push/pull. I have goals to the amount of times a week I go the gym and amount of time at the gym per day. I want to learn more about nutrition and what my body needs and what it craves and ween myself off certain types of food not just the junk. I am even considering taking up DDP Yoga (mainly because it has to be a manly Yoga since it was developed by a former professional wrestler). If you arent familiar watch this video: Arthur's Transformation; it is quite inspiring! 

Life never gives you a clear path on where you are going and sometimes there will be detours and bumps along the way. I find when this happens you must accept it, learn from it and figure out how to make that road be more in the direction you want, how to make the road a little less bumpy. After all who said that you have to go on the journey where no others have travelled as only I can know the direction to take. This journey for me is 4 wheel drive and time to go off roading!

7 Months Since the Accident..

Well here we are 7 months from the accident and I am still recovering from my Post Concussive Syndrome (PCS). I never would have thought that my accident would have caused so many issues in my life and health. I feel for those with this devastating diagnosis. 

 

I am very thankful for my physio-therapist who has helped me so much in getting back to somewhat of normalcy. Though I must say i was cursing her my first few visits as she put my neck and head through the ringer as she worked on my neck. There were many days where I had serious doubts about my health and life and where I would end up if i didn't get better soon. 

Irritability. Sadness/Depression. Fogginess. Dizziness. Migraines. Pressure in the Head. Confusion. Sensitivity to Light & Noise. Blurred Vision. Just not feeling like myself. Nausea. Balance Issues. Feeling Slowed Down. Difficulty Concentrating. Difficulty Remembering. Trouble Falling Asleep. More Emotional than normal. Nervous or Anxious.

All of the above symptoms occurring on a daily basis and then some. 

This journey has not been easy on me or my family; people see you and you look normal and that everything seems good but under the surface you feel like your in the middle of the ocean during a raging hurricane being torn in all directions. You hate to disappoint them but you feel lost and like you are letting them down when you put your own health above doing what others expect of you. Skipping family dinners, being holed up in bed because you cant bare to think of even standing or walking somewhere; wanting to just take a pill and wake up in a month (or six) hoping to feel better by then. not to mention the pressure of trying to pay bills based on one income and when you do return to work even in a very limited role your pay hardly pays one bill because you are only work for 2 hours a day.

I have had some highs and lows in this process from the beginning, some days I feel like I am almost back to normalcy then I will randomly have a setback that makes me worry and anxious about how long i will be suffering for and if the symptoms will ever truly go away.

Today I feel like I am on a good path and that I may be getting better, but I have felt that way before and then only to fall flat on my arse with a setback that makes me realize how frail I still am.  

One day at a time, one moment at a time is all I can manage right now, thankfully the moments are coming up more often now.