By the Numbers

So here we are in March, and I know I said that I would weigh myself officially this month to see my progress but...

The closer I get to the middle of the month the more standoffish I have become towards my weight. I don't want a number to define me nor will it, I have unofficially weighed myself and the numbers are definitely less than where I once was, am I where I want to be right now,? NO, am I proud of my accomplishment so far?, HECK YEAH!

I still struggle with consistency and building a routine to get back into the daily life that I want and am working on. I, much like a lot of others, have struggled with consistency in going to the gym and it is one of my main focuses. Yes, I put myself through the 21 day challenge to go to the gym, after 10 days  straight I took a day off then started a routine of one day off a week. I did this for about 5 weeks, then life got in the way. I would feel sick one day and skip a day, or I would just be up too late the night before and skip the next morning workout, then I would tweak a muscle in my lower back and skip a few more days. 

These are not excuses, I should find the time no matter what if I believe myself to be worth the effort, and I usually do believe in myself to be worth it. Sure I have down days like everyone else, and I know those days are the days I need to go the most. I have felt guilty every time I did not go to the gym when I knew I should of, I also feel guilty not being apart of a normal life, after all who the hell wants to get up at 3am to go to the gym?

I am working to find that work/life healthy balance, and at times I feel like I sacrifice the part of going to the gym to do something else. I want to be able to stay awake long enough to curl up with my wife and see a movie at 8pm and not be falling asleep. I want to be awake and conscious when my wife and I decide to go out and see a comedy show at the pub and not feel like I am struggling to stay awake until 9pm when the main act comes on.

At the same time I love the fact that I can Leg Press 700 lbs, that I can do nearly 200 lbs in Pectoral Flys or 200 lbs in Seated and Low Rows. I love pushing myself to see where I am at and what more I can do, it can be quite addicting when you realize what your body is truly capable of when you push yourself. I also love the feeling and love noticing changes in my body; feeling and seeing my shoulders and arms get bigger is quite the narcissistic thing to do but I'm not doing it in a negative way but more of a recognizing an accomplishment. I am achieving. 

Wrestling with Weakness and Self Doubt

This past month or so I have had a few people tell me I inspire them; it is very humbling to be told this. While I appreciate the compliment that I inspire people (and I am very glad that I do that for others), I can't help but feel that I am not in a place mentally to be ready for that inspiration for others.

I am not trying to change people's minds or anything, it is just that I don't see being an inspiration in myself enough right now. I know I have lost some weight but could I have lost more, yes; do I still struggle with food and nutrition, yes; do I still struggle with the will to exercise daily, yes (although this struggle is weakening).

My belief in myself and in this journey, for me, is just starting to grow, and while my efforts in a cleaner and healthier living has been getting stronger, I falter with some indiscretions: I still find myself snacking on the wrong things at times, I take it easy on my workouts at times (I know I don't always give it my full effort), I still struggle with trying to understand and conform to the food macros I need to be at ( I need to cut back on my carbs).

 I know life is full of struggles and I am sure I represent the average  problems and struggles of and overweight person, so in that respect I am happy that I am connecting with people and they can associate my struggles with theirs. That is the purpose of this blog for others to realize they are not alone in the struggle, it is just weird though to have someone say that my efforts inspire them.

We all have to start somewhere, we all have a struggle we deal with, we all have a weakness we try to improve; this is how we grow as an individual, by working on what limits us. I am no different as I am on this journey for change and growth as I want to be much more than I feel I am. I need to change my mental state and am working on the self belief.

I am very glad and honoured to be an inspiration to others, I am just trying to be an inspiration to myself most days. It is an innate feeling and action to expect more from myself and I am learning to find that balance of expectation and reality but it is hard right now for me to give myself praise of effort when I have so much farther to go and do not have the results I am looking for.

I know I must stay positive and focus on my successes as the rest will come in time.

I am proud at my streak of food logging for nearly 60 some days straight.
I am proud of my actions of going to the gym for at least 5 days a week for nearly 60 some days.
I am proud to see my results in strength building when lifting weights (leg press of nearly 700 lbs is mind blowing to me!)
I am proud of myself for continuing to commit to changing my health for the better.

I have said time and time again that the biggest enemy in this fight for my health and life is my mental status. My self doubt and  self defeatist negativity will fight me every step of the way, it is natural for overweight people to fear failure the closer we get to success so we self sabotage. We set our selves up for failure before we have an opportunity to experience success because we have accepted failure for so long already in our lives. We fear the disappointment from others, we fear the feelings of letting ourselves down and others, and when we fear, or at least when I do, I eat to suppress my fear.

The "Year of Scott Mac 2107" is all about me facing my fears head on, to open up and discuss the fears, to let others who have similar struggles know they are not alone. By discussing these fears and writing them down I hope to understand and analyze them to then be able to change my view of these fears. When you recognize and identify the problem it is easier to resolve the problem because it is defined, the problem has parameters and a clear definition which can then be resolved.

As discussed before, I try to analyze each fear and thought as if it is a personal truth or if it is not; when it is not I debunk the thought with facts and destroy the thought so that it has no justification to permeate my thinking and reasoning, thus crushing the self doubt it creates.

Let's do this thought process together now...

Thought: "I am not an inspiration to anyone nor should I be"

Support of or denial of truth: Denial

Reasoning: I have accomplished a lot of things that other overweight people have been unable to do.I have been an active member of a gym for nearly a year (would be over a year if not for a car accident). I have made healthier eating and purposeful exercise apart of my daily life. I have consistently pushed myself to be better in thoughts and actions.

Result: I am an inspiration to others who see my efforts to change who I once was to whom I am trying to be someday. While I do struggle I still achieve results and others who struggle can see that if I can struggle and push through and still achieve then I am a reason for inspiring others who also struggle.

Love in a Jar.. Home canning for a Health and Cost Savings

I love canning. I know I am a weirdo because of it but I can't deny that the thought of canning tomatoes and tomato sauce to have for the long cold winter months to me is nothing but beauty. I love seeing our pantry full of home made relatively healthy creations for use and for cost savings. 

Over the last few years we have built up our canning jar collection by purchasing more and more cases of jars, I think the last year we purchased another 6 dozen alone. And every year we (I) can a wider variety of items, this year I canned applesauce, apple butter, peach butter, tomato sauce and peaches. I was going to do salsa again this year but with battling my post concussion symptoms I was absolutely drained and did not have the energy to continue on. 

Living in the beautiful Okanagan we have a variety of fresh local fruit and produce readily available throughout the summer and fall months and I like to fully take advantage of it. I have broken it down in cost (not including initial investment of jars and water canner) that one 1 litre jar (1 quart - for my American friends)that it costs me approximately $1.30 for a jar of tomato sauce opposed to the $4.00 at the big corporate stores in the neighborhood such as IGA, Real Canadian Superstore or Safeway. Not only is there cost savings but I can proudly pronounce all the ingredients in the jar and don't have to worry about chemicals and preservatives that are questionable. 

I take pride in the food quality that we make and store in our house; and no matter how much we make it never seems to be enough! Here we are in March and we are over half way through our Tomato Sauce. Tabitha's goal is to have enough Tomato sauce to last until we start canning again in the summer, I think we will be close but come up just short. Our Peaches, apple and peach butter and apple sauce stock is fine, I made the butters for cooking purposes as I thought it would be nice to have some for random creations; the peaches and apple sauce are mainly for mom as she loves them so I believe they should last until next canning session. 

I am hoping to get a big pressure cooker/canner so I can do up some vegetables and other creations this year. By being proactive with canning and combining it with a healthier living standard it makes for a more controlled calorie intake when you know exactly what is in the food as you make the final creation. To me it only makes sense to look at home canning as an alternative for healthy food options. Granted that you basically have to be a slave to the kitchen for a full day of prepping cooking and canning in the end it is worth it. 

I know people can find canning to be overwhelming and quite daunting if they have never done it before, believe me I know this as I was one of them, When I was younger I used to help my parents prep the food for canning but they did the actual canning. I was the one who descaled cleaned and cut up the salmon and  then added salt and water to the jars; or who peeled tomatoes or peaches for stuffing into jars but never did I get involved with putting it on the stove and in the cooker. I was usually told to stay away from the kitchen when the pressure cooker was on or when mom was removing the jars from the water bath, purely for safety sake I am sure. So when I decided to start canning I felt a bit overwhelmed at not wanting to screw up and poison people with in correct practices or steps; but after a few  batches my first time doing a water bath I have no qualms about it. 

Canning is a simple and easy process to go through and with thousands of recipes and youtube videos of how tos and recipes to help guide you and calm your doubts it is an easy process that anyone can do. Don't let the thoughts of being too much or the scare of botulism deter you from being successful in providing a healthy source of food for the cold winter months. Yes I know that fresh is always best but it is good to have a realistic alternative when prices keep going up and costs can be crazy; and when you control the quality of the canned goods you can gain confidence in knowing that what you have made and stored will be suitable to a healthier living life. 

Cheffy's Kitchen Presents ... Mushroom Chicken

Today I would like to introduce you to a modified favorite in my household. this recipe I revamped from a restaurant I used to work at and changed it slightly so it is a healthier option.

Mushroom Chicken

What you will need is:

4 each chicken breasts skinless - 6 oz each  (approximately)

2 cups sliced mushrooms

1 onion large sliced 

2 tbsp olive oil

6 oz chicken stock

1/2 tsp garlic minced

1 can organic coconut milk

Salt & Pepper

Heat up large frying pan or sauce pan with oil. (using a hot fry pan is always best to sear and lock in flavour of food when cooking). When oil starts to smoke gently place Chicken breast skin side down (smooth shiny side) in pan laying breast away from you so as not to splatter oil on you and risk injury. Season lightly with salt and pepper.

When brown on skin side turn chicken to cook other side, add garlic, mushrooms and onions then and chicken stock. Cook until onions are translucent and mushrooms partially cooked then add can of coconut milk and reseason with salt and pepper. (whenever you add a new ingredient to a dish when cooking you must re-season, that is unless you over seasoned earlier, this is also why you should always taste everything when cooking). Cover pan and reduce heat to medium and sauce. After 5 mins check the thickest part of the thickest breast, if fully cooked uncover and turn up heat until sauce is reduced to a gravy type thickness. 

Serves 4 at 485 calories per serving

I suggest serve with cauliflower mash and steamed asparagus.

ENJOY!