So I started writing a post last week and I just couldn't find the words to convey m thoughts and emotions adequately so I stopped with hopes I could find the words.
As the week went on I could not find the words or drive for what I wanted to say, this week the same thing. I thought "What is wrong with me, usually I have lots to say?" I then found myself aware of my true feelings: anger, frustration, anxious, stress, fear, lonely, lost, lethargic,lack of sleep, lack of empathy, depressed, feeling emotional, all feelings at once and numb at same time. My headaches have been coming back for last few weeks a bit stronger than the week before and now I am back to popping Tylenol like they are Tic Tacs (do those still exist?). I think I might be having a set back in my recovery but am unsure.
I will be going to the doctor's office tomorrow (Saturday Aug 6th) for a follow up on my concussion and the symptoms I now have. I just feel like I am not me right now.
Reading the post that I originally started to write I can now hear it in the typed words. To me it sounds like I just want to escape the world, runaway from it all, and the fact of the matter is, I do. I have felt like I just want to get off this Merry-Go-Round called life lately, runaway to where no one will find me and escape reality.
Just the other day I was driving home from work and I had so much angst and anger in me I started yelling at the top of my lungs, I was just trying to get the bad mojo out of me so I would not bring it home.
The following is the original post i started to write; if you read this you will hear my angst, frustration, anxiety and anger in the words written.
I find that I am doing a lot of writing about what I should be doing and not actually implementing these actions. I have nothing but great intentions with poor execution on those intentions.
As the week went on I could not find the words or drive for what I wanted to say, this week the same thing. I thought "What is wrong with me, usually I have lots to say?" I then found myself aware of my true feelings: anger, frustration, anxious, stress, fear, lonely, lost, lethargic,lack of sleep, lack of empathy, depressed, feeling emotional, all feelings at once and numb at same time. My headaches have been coming back for last few weeks a bit stronger than the week before and now I am back to popping Tylenol like they are Tic Tacs (do those still exist?). I think I might be having a set back in my recovery but am unsure.
I will be going to the doctor's office tomorrow (Saturday Aug 6th) for a follow up on my concussion and the symptoms I now have. I just feel like I am not me right now.
Reading the post that I originally started to write I can now hear it in the typed words. To me it sounds like I just want to escape the world, runaway from it all, and the fact of the matter is, I do. I have felt like I just want to get off this Merry-Go-Round called life lately, runaway to where no one will find me and escape reality.
Just the other day I was driving home from work and I had so much angst and anger in me I started yelling at the top of my lungs, I was just trying to get the bad mojo out of me so I would not bring it home.
The following is the original post i started to write; if you read this you will hear my angst, frustration, anxiety and anger in the words written.
I find that I am doing a lot of writing about what I should be doing and not actually implementing these actions. I have nothing but great intentions with poor execution on those intentions.
This is not just for weight-loss but in life in general. It is hard for me to implement the change I crave now that I have been out of my routine of taking actions in my life to change what hasn't been working for me. I know what i need to do but lack the follow through.
I feel that most days that i am like butter spread too thin on hot toast, I get lost and diluted from what I need to do. I want to be able to just take a step back from my life and forgo the things that are not necessary in my life. Just focus on me, have my only commitments be to myself and to my family, all else just to be put on pause while I get my shit together.
How nice would it be to not have to worry about work, bills, appointments, meetings and life in general. To be able to just wake up in the morning and have full focus on myself and doing what is required to get healthy. Unfortunately we live in the real world and it cant be done so i will have to re-evaluate everything, every action I do and decide if it is truly needed in my life . I am thinking of a few things that I may say a temporary goodbye to but with so many conveniences in modern life can I truly say goodbye for more than a day? How nice would it be to say good bye to the internet, imagine if you can going back to a world without Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or news and information at your finger tips in an instant.
